I stood at the self-checkout of a Sainsbury’s in South London for ten minutes this morning before I realized my fly was wide open. It is a specific kind of coldness that hits your gut when you realize you have been walking through the world with a gap in your armor.

I had spoken to the postman. I had nodded to a neighbor. All that time, I thought I was presenting a whole, put-together version of myself to the street, but there was a failure of maintenance right at the center of the frame. It is embarrassing, but more than that, it is a reminder that the things we do not check eventually reveal themselves at the worst possible time.

This feeling of being unfinished or exposed is exactly what hits a man about seven months after a budget hair transplant.

The Silent Phone in Croydon

Danny is currently standing in the queue at a Boots in Croydon. He is holding a box of generic minoxidil foam he found after three hours on a forum. In his other hand, he holds his phone. He is scrolling through a WhatsApp chat with a clinic in a city he cannot quite pronounce.

The smell of industrial-strength floor wax combined with the scent of overcooked chicken breast usually signals the beginning of a state aviation association dinner. There is a specific, metallic clang that occurs when a folding chair is snapped shut in a high school gymnasium or a municipal community center.

This sound echoed through the hall as the presentations ended and the networking began. My jaw ached because I had recently bit the side of my tongue while eating a particularly tough piece of sourdough bread. The sharp, rhythmic pulse of that minor injury made me less inclined to engage in small talk, but it also made me a very attentive listener.

The Secret at Table Fourteen

At table fourteen, between the raffle for a handheld radio and the clearing of the dessert plates, Harold Benning leaned toward Carl Matsuda. Harold had the posture of a man who knew a secret that the rest of the room was too loud to hear.

He mentioned the place in Amarillo, an FBO that had changed hands six months prior. He did not talk about the fuel volume or the condition of the fuel farm. He simply stated a number, followed by a decimal, followed by the word “times.” He claimed the business sold for 7.2 times its EBITDA.